During a full workday on the sales floor, in the lab, or in the factory, a man may have few opportunities to be alone long enough to masturbate. If that same man returns home to repressive parents or a spouse who is unsympathetic to his desires he may have to wait for quite a while before he can obtain the release he needs.
Some men report masturbating as much as 5-6 times per day in their youths and even active men in their 40s may masturbate 15-20 times a week. With sex, as with so many other things, efforts to create a principle from practice are misguided; the right amount of masturbation is what is right for the individual, not the group.
The frequency of male masturbation may decline a bit when men are in a relationship, but this decline is not automatic. Some 37% of men in a relationship masturbate as much or more while in the relationship than they do when they are not in a relationship. The data may be misleading here because 50% of those responding have never been in a committed, sexual relationship, so the numbers of those who maintain or increase the frequency with which they masturbate may be even higher.
For women the numbers are less clear. Masturbation has been seen recently as a form of female empowerment, a way of detaching women from dependence on men as a source of pleasure in the same way that women have been urged to distance themselves from men as a source of security or income.
Studies do show that by the time most women are 18, they have masturbated to orgasm at least once; in fact, among younger teens, masturbation, endorsed by spotlight figures such as Brittany Spears, is on the rise. One statistic indicates that 70 percent of young women masturbate at least once per month, and over 50% several times per week.
For men, masturbation appears to be fairly straightforward. Consisting of repeated rubbing or stroking of the penis until orgasm. Until recently, men may not have been inclined to consider variety an important aspect of masturbation. Some men prefer to masturbate in the shower, relying on water and soap as a lubricant (soap as lubricant, by the way, is inappropriate because most soaps are very abrasive to the sensitive skin of the penis). Young men and boys living at home often masturbate in this fashion as an expedient to avoid parental inquiry.
Men with more leisure, however, spend considerably more time on masturbation. Many use visual stimuli such as pornographic movies or magazines or internet pornography. Men can use a wide variety of lubricants to enhance their pleasures. Some of these lubricants numb sensations in order to delay a man's orgasm. Others (usually thinner lubricants) can enhance the sensation and allow a man a more intimate touch and more powerful orgasms.
Some men practice the male version of Kegel exercises to prolong the pleasure of masturbation. These sexual calisthenics are used to strengthen the muscular region of the pelvis that pertains to ejaculation and bladder retention. They are located in between the thighs where the penis joins the body. These exercises have the additional benefit of allowing men to avoid premature ejaculation when they become sexually stimulated.
Men have also in recent years become more open about other means they employ to stimulate themselves. Various males may spend more time stroking their balls, while others employ anal stimulation from dildos or, for the more dexterous, their fingers. A few males may continue to rub their penises after they orgasm, using the sperm to lubricate themselves to additional pleasures.
Although many men might refuse to taste their own semen, or would ordinarily decline it, the practice of tasting is actually on the rise. There is no harm in it and, if curiosity gets the better, can result in a very intense orgasm.
There is no question that masturbation can make men better lovers. In fact, many men use the techniques of orgasm control to prolong their lovers' pleasures when they are with a partner. In addition, men who masturbate frequently are more in touch with their bodies.
The typical male stereotype would have us believe that men are rather simple and straightforward, as compared with women. Perhaps they are. Yet that does not mean that lovemaking for men lacks nuance. Male masturbation can apparently offers several advantages. Australian
researchers claim that men who masturbate frequently have lowered risks of testicular cancer. And ultimately, good lovemaking, regardless of sex, amounts to excellent personal awareness coupled with the ability to effectively translate those desires into a pleasurable sexual release.
For women, much like men, masturbation seems to be as much a mental as physical thing. Experts on female sexuality urge that a woman employ evocative, romantic, relaxing materials such as music, candles, incense (particularly incense charged with pheromones), warm baths, comfortable pillows and sheets.
If a woman requires more to stimulate themselves sexually during encounters with a partner, then the same holds true during masturbation. Women have a dazzling array of toys at their disposal to assist them. These range from small eggs that can be inserted into the vagina that will allow a woman to access her g-spot during orgasm to dildos or plugs that can fill the vagina and anus, as needed.
There are vibrators of all shapes and sizes that are available for vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Women who masturbate regularly (whether they are engaged in a sexual relationship with a partner or not) generally find it easier to orgasm with a vibrator, although there is some concern over becoming dependent upon vibrators to achieve orgasm.
Many experts on women's health and psychology urge women to masturbate and to begin the practice at a fairly young age. Such experts cite masturbation as an important practice to a young woman's development. They claim that by knowing her own body a woman can take better responsibility for her sexuality, develop more keen insights into her own psychological and physical needs, and better resist the pressure to rush into sex prematurely. When at last a woman is emotionally and intellectually ready for a partner she can then maintain a greater level of control in her relationships.
Masturbation, then, is clearly a healthy practice. It makes us alert to the range of pleasures our bodies might enjoy. It allows us a level of control over our appetites. It can make us better lovers, and it is (unless someone spends a fortune on toys or lubricants) an inexpensive form of personal enjoyment.
Recently pop culture has become more embracing of masturbation. Movies, television shows, and music have all helped to open up this discussion. Seinfeld's hysterical "master of his domain" competition between the show's four main characters (Jerry, Kramer, George, and Elaine) left audiences wondering who would cave first, and who would hold out the longest, to claim the title.
In music, one might argue that the DeVinyls started it all with the famous song "I Touch Myself." According to legend, the group realized that some middle-aged women were eavesdropping on them in a fast-food restaurant and decided to make up some fictitious lyrics to shock their uninvited audience. Since then, a range of female pop stars have obliquely or directly extolled the virtues of masturbation. Of course, who can forget Madonna's ushering in of a more public sexuality throughout the 1980's and ‘90's?
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